How he proposed

Everyone keeps telling me how romantic our story is, to end up with your best friend that you've known since high school...that you've been into since high school. Sigh. I agree! lol In a way I think that the crappy relationships we had before we got together were needed, to teach us lessons in how to be with somebody, how not to be with somebody, what each of us wanted, how each of us wanted to be treated.

I know for me, with each relationship that I had, though it hurt like hell to break up, they were all lessons in what I would not put up with and how I would not be treated in a relationship. If you ever get a chance to read the books "Why Men Love B*tches" and "Why Men Marry B*tches" don't hesitate to do so.

These books changed my world, ever so slowly at first. I used to be a complete doormat. I was bullied all my life and could not stand up for myself. When it came to asking for things that I wanted in a relationship...I couldn't. I'd end up in tears, always, and always seen as "overreacting" and "crazy".

I read these books a few relationships ago, actually, and it took a lot of years to practise asserting myself without crying, feeling intimidated, or backing down.

When I first started going out with Jared, he was constantly late for dates. I knew that he gets this from his parents. My family calls it "Dredhart time", because we all know that when we plan something, Jared and his parents are sure to be at least a few minutes late. So although I knew he got it from his parents, I was still peeved that he was making me wait for him all the time. I asserted myself and told him that I value my time and I don't appreciate my time being wasted by having to wait around for him, and it's a complete lack of respect on his part to do that to me. I was raised to be early, and that showing up late correlates to respect. He stopped immediately and I don't think he's been late since then.

This kind of leads me into how he proposed.

We'd been talking about getting engaged for a couple months. He just landed this great well paying job in Alberta. So on a day after he got back from Alberta he told me he was going to go look at engagement rings. I practically begged him to let me go with him because I'm not a jewelry person at all and so very picky about what kind of jewelry I do wear. Nope. He wouldn't let me. That was on a Friday.

Saturday he said I could come see and pick one. He'd already had one in mind but just wanted to make sure that I liked it as well. Of course, I did. It had been the first ring he looked at, at the first store. We paid for it that day, but it had to be sent out to be sized.

It came back on Tuesday. I knew this because the jeweller had said Tuesday. I knew he was going to want to propose before he left back for Alberta on Thursday, so I knew he was going to propose either that night or Wednesday.

But me. I'm not a very patient person. At. All. It was about 8:30pm and I was going to bed {yes, sometimes I go to bed that early, and for some reason on that day I was especially tired and drained from being in class all day - I'm an introvert so being around people drains me} and he was tucking me in. I told him I reeeallly reeeaallly wanted him to propose that night, right now. I did now care about how romantic it was or being swept off my feet with some romantic dinner at some expensive restaurant.

So he laid down on the bed with me and said how much the kids and I mean to him. If it wasn't for me he wouldn't have this job. We mean the world to him. He told me that he always used to think about what it would be like if Gavin, my 9 year old, was really his son, and he'd like to adopt him once we're married. It was a big long speech.

I bawled my eyes out. I couldn't stop crying. He cried too. I always cry at stuff like this.

I feel a little guilty for pushing him to propose that night instead of waiting one more night for him to do it his way. He says he wouldn't change a thing and that I didn't push him at all. Maybe he'd planned all along to propose that night. He knows that our bed is where I'm the most comfortable, and we have our most intimate talks there. It wouldn't have felt right anywhere else.

I started planning right away......

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